 |
| The pavlova, perched on my lap. Black pants - creamy pavlova - bad combination. |
We went to a baby shower yesterday. Yes, we. G, myself and the little travellers made our way to a friend's house balancing pavlovas and platters on our laps. It was a fabulous day. Fantastic food, lots of champagne, happy children, and two very happy parents who are on the home stretch to meeting their third child and very first daughter.
On the way there the second little traveller asked about the present we were taking "But the baby's not born yet? Why now?" And before I could reply, the fourth little traveller responded.
"It's a celebration, there's a baby coming!"
It was the most beautiful, genuine answer you could hope for. It was a celebration. There was a baby coming. And yes, we were all excited.
We were a room full of parents. All of us with different styles and approaches. South Africans, English, Irish, American, Swedish and Australian. All of us far from home, not a extended family member in sight. We are the friends who are here now. Right now, it's us.
The second little traveller has a yellow giraffe from a friend who was in Kuala Lumpur. The first traveler has a book of nursery rhymes from a friend who was in Jakarta. The third traveller has a onesie from an English friend who was in Libya. The fourth traveler has a blanket, a gift from a Canadian friend who became family. They were there, at that moment, it was them. The emergency contact.
I thought about my baby shower in Canada. The faces of friends who I will probably never live in the same city as again. Friends who hold very deep places in my heart for the generosity they showed G and I. The help that was given, the excitement that was shared.
In this expat world we are often offered the opportunity to become closer than normal. I'm not sure what makes the friendships more intense, the fact that we know they can't last forever, or the understanding of their importance because of their necessity.
How lucky we've been to have the friends who were there.
This post has really struck a cord with me. I am weeks away from giving birth for the first time and I have been so touched by all the support I have been getting from our friends here. It's just like you say, it's about the friends who are there. I feel so lucky and blessed to have made friends here on whom I can truly count and who I know are almost as excited as I am to meet our little mermaid.
ReplyDeleteHaving made friends like this in Darwin, who I still miss intensely, I get this. Darwin is the closest thing I have had to an expat community - so very very transient - and it pains me that I miss all these people - cannot imagine how lovely but tough this kind of shifting relationships must be all the time! xx
ReplyDeleteDave was in the Army stationed in Texas when our daughter was born so even though we've never been expats we've had this "those who were there" experience. We all make our communities be what we need them to be some how.
ReplyDeleteThis brings to mind friends washing up dishes in my sink after a party, friends scrubbing my tiles before I moved house, while I puked in the bathroom with morning sickness, preschool teachers running my child out to me as my infant slept in the car, friends helping with the school run when we were stretched thin...Friends have been family here when I was without. While I've missed my family beyond belief, I have been carried and covered and helped by a community that understands what life at a distance from "home" costs. I've been so lucky.
ReplyDeleteMy parents can so relate with this. They have been expats for almost 40 years now and growing-up the word family friends was used in place of family for us. We didn't reach out to cousins, aunts and uncles or grandparents. We connected with with building friends, community friends, club friends and friends of friends friends. We spent schooldays playing together, weekends picnicking and paying together and evenings bickering or laughing together when our parents went for a movie or after dinner walk as a group.
ReplyDeleteEven today when we say 'family' we mean them as well :-)