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| I read this sign and all I could think was but some of them do! |
Owing to the screwy way that my brain works, I am currently ninety nine percent sure that something terrible is about to happen. I've recently woken from dreams in a panic, jolted by my worst nightmares. And now it appears that my daydreams, those random thoughts that occur in the mundane are now also going to include the split second flashcard of death or horror. I've nearly been in numerous car accidents over the last week and I can't help but wonder if my number is swishing around in car accident bingo.
I've been reaching out to grab children who have stepped just that little bit too close to curb, and triple checking that everyone is out of the car before pushing the lock. There was a fire drill during the school basketball tournament yesterday, and while G myself and three of the travellers walked out onto the field I wondered if this was it. The third little traveller was at a guitar lesson, tucked away in a music room at the back of the school. Was this it?
He was fine. It was all fine.
Owing to the screwy way that my brain works, I am currently ninety nine percent sure that if I share with you that I'm thinking that something terrible is going to happen, it probably won't happen.
A game of jinx, I double jinx you. See, not going to happen. I said it out loud. It's all okay now.
I ran into a girlfriend the other morning and we played a game of what if something happened. I was talking about a friend who'd been advised by embassy staff to always keep a letter on her refrigerator explaining what would need to happen if something happened to her or her husband. Who would come to get the children?
Nothing like a bit of light conversation in aisles of Ikea on a Sunday morning.
In this expat world, it's something you have to think about. All parents need to consider a legal guardian or writing a will, but expat parents need to broaden those questions.
Who will fly in to collect the children if something happens to you and your partner?
Do you legally have something in place for that to occur?
How will they get home?
Does the office know what the plan is?
Do the children know who to call in case of emergency?
Do your children know Granny's number?
I'm making a list for the refrigerator. Both Grandparents numbers, the Aunts and Uncles, the friends, the neighbours.
Owing to the screwy way that my brain works, I am currently ninety nine percent sure that if I share with you that I'm thinking that something terrible is going to happen, it probably won't happen.
But I'm prepared. Are you?
*please add anything you think I've missed
My daughter, as a child, did this all the time. Every plan we made, she'd ask what we'd do if there was a storm, or the roof fell in. Then my husband died, suddenly, when she was 17 - and it stopped. A couple of years later I asked her what changed, and she told me that the worst thing that could happen happened, and she realised that life carried on but in a different shape, and we were all fine. Tough way to learn.
ReplyDeleteOh Jo, heartbreaking. My mum's mother died when she was 16, she has the opposite theory - that from the moment it happened she was very aware that bad things COULD happen. I guess it all depends where we were at the starting point. I think part of my problem is I always think that I've been too lucky, that something has to go wrong. I'm not like this all the time, I just have little phases :-) xx
ReplyDeleteI think you're very wise. I'd much rather have a plan, than not. It's not always easy to think about, talk about or plan for but not doing so can be even worse, particularly when crisis or emergencies happen. And unfortunately they do happen.
ReplyDeleteI get you on thinking that good luck or whatever, is going to run out. Hard not to do sometimes...
I agree: plan for it, and it probably won't happen. At least, that's the hope I've been operating under for the last few months since North Korea started getting really menacing this time around. After 2 years of not taking all the sabre-rattling seriously, I really did gather all the important documents, passports, birth certificates, and other papers together in a 'go' bag, just in case we had to evacuate suddenly - on the theory that, if I did prepare, nothing would happen. So far, it's working.
ReplyDeleteIn Dubai you need to appoint a temporary legal guardian who can look after your children until a family member comes to collect them. If this is not done properly, they are put in care first. I don't know what the rules are in Qatar but might be worth looking in to.
ReplyDeleteNot strictly child related, but is there at least one person who knows your passwords?
ReplyDeleteWe had numerous conversations about this. A friend of ours became terminally ill which sent my anxieties sky high. The result? My husband complied a list of all the things I would need to do. For each step, he had details to where the relevant documents were kept and who I would need to contact. Since I couldn't recognise the folders and explained if I was emotional it would be even harder, he numbered the folders and put the relevant number against the item on the list. Our friend's went through a similar task at the same time. Unfortunately there's was a discussion firmly based in reality rather than the hypothetical.
ReplyDeleteThe conversation is not fun. However, it is better to be prepared.
Goodness I have been an expat for 2 years and only got as far as putting Granny's number in my phone as ICE (in case of emergency). The school have my neighbour listed and that is it. So good to plan and be prepared without overdoing it. Thank you so much for this post! :)
ReplyDeleteI spent about a year with the sensation of a t-bone car accident at a certain intersection in Phoenix. It started to really unnerve me. When the t-bone accident occured it was about a mile away from that actual intersection. My premonition stopped at that point.
ReplyDeleteWe live in Cairo right now, and have a "safe room" stocked with water, juice boxes, acceptable snacks... I also have a "go-bag-list" which seems prepared but not quite as neurotic as having the thing actually packed. Most evacuations seem to have a good 24-48 hours where things go very very south and you know it's coming.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "something happening" fear - I am unemployed for the first time in my life, and in the last two weeks I have run through scenario after scenario where the hubs is not around to care for us. How would we get home? Where would home be? How quickly can I find a job? Childcare? See, now I've said it too, and that means it can't happen. :)
well we just moved to poland which is the country of my husband but im very far from understanding and speaking this language, in case of emergency. two weeks ago he was for work in some small island in indonesia with no mobile and no internet and i just realized that i dont know the mobile number or mail contact of any of his colleagues or his boss...no idea of the hotel he was staying, nothing. Because in the last 5 years he was always traveling on the civilised route of oil and gas (doha, dubai, jakarta, houston, calgary, aberdeen etc) and working for a swiss international organisation everything was set up by them for any risk and any case..now we are on our own and we have to create this safety net
ReplyDeleteThis is so strange! I read two blogs, well maybe a third actually. Anyway, the other one I regularly read also posted about fear today - http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2013/05/the-one-about-fear/.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Kirsty!
As expats living in civilised Australia, I've always struggled with finding emergency backups if the worst happened to my partner and I. I have come to hate that section of forms. My friends could and would step in to look after our daughter short term until family could arrive from Canada, but they all live too far away (40 min to an hour) to be practical for that quick response thatis more likely to be needed sometimes - like she is hurt at school and the school simply can't get hold of me. I hate to have to ask the parents of her school friends, but it may come to that. I suspect it is easier when you're in a community of expats, all in similar need.
ReplyDeleteThe phone numbers yes - when my Mum got sick she made lots of those kinds of lists and plans as my brother lived interstate and I lived overseas. One thing she did which I have now done and feel a little old and foolish about but which would probably help quite a lot in an emergency is put people in my phone as - Sam - Husband, Tim - Brother etc.
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteThis is very.......odd/alarming?
We live in China right now and I was having a conversation about emergencies and last wills yesterday with 3 friends. NOT a pleasant but important topic.
If something happened to both of us parents- where will the kids go?
Did you make official arrangements with lawyers/your families?
Raised the topic- not going to happen, RIGHT?