We missed him.
It's not just the space in the bed, it's the empty chair at the breakfast table and the realization at the end of the day that he's not going to walk through the door with the usual fanfare "Dad's home!" When the little travellers were babies I resented G's travel. I was envious of everything. Envious of the flight, the hotel room with the fluffy pillows, the robes and the room service. I dreamed of laying in a bed with an opportunity for hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I have different dramas now. Emails from the school, money to hand out, forms that need to be signed. Often when G's away I think about the single parents of the world and how lonely those nights can be when you don't have someone to bounce ideas off of. On Friday morning I told G about the school dance and how the car was making a strange noise. We talked about the group that one of the travellers isn't in, about the behavourial plan suggested by a teacher for another traveller. The moment I'd shared a few of the worries that had been in the back of my mind I felt better. Things that had initially made my head explode were now making me giggle. I need G, I couldn't imagine doing this full time without him.
I often receive lovely emails from women who are married to soldiers, they identify with being mobile and starting afresh and often being left to your own devices. There's a level of guilt at my end with their compliments, I've got it easy compared to these women. Can you imagine how it feels to be the spouse of a soldier? The guilt that comes with sometimes feeling disgruntled about being left to solo parent, while constantly being on edge about where they are and their safety?
You women are made of tougher stuff than I am.
I was scrolling through my news feed this week and this clip had me happily sobbing into my keyboard.
From the Huffington Post:
I'm afraid G's reunion wasn't quite as glamourous. By the time he landed at 2am on Friday morning I had passed out. He came home laden with lovely gifts to find me snoring with the television on. Sometimes I'm just so sexy I surprise even myself.
I need to work on better re-unions.