Blogs are becoming boring.
They're like bottoms. Everyone has one.
Blah, blah, blah.
Share. Share. Share.
Follow me on Friday, Share me on Sunday. Make me famous by Monday. Read me, READ me, READ MEEEEEE!
Someone needs to tell you they're an alcoholic, someone else wants you to know they make hats for goldfish. Someone is co-sleeping with their eight year old, and someone else has a child with a beard. And then there's the guru blogger who just happens to be an alcoholic with a goldfish wearing a hat and an eight year old child with a beard, who they are currently sleeping with. Lucky bitch.
There's a group, they link, they share, they meet. They tell their story.
My children are making me thirsty, I need wine. Let me whine about my wine. I need to stop eating. Help me stop eating. What are you eating? What are you wearing? I need to write my opinion on the latest cat food commercial, the price of a bus ticket, and Jennifer Aniston's marital status.
People. Talk. In. One. Word. Sentences.
I realized a few days ago when I wrote about needing surgery involving my lady bits and a urologist with a headlamp, that I may have crossed the line. I'd entered the world of tell all, share all. Why? Perhaps I had to, it felt dishonest not to. It was consuming my mind and not writing about it felt like a lie.
The overshare is more likely the have to share. The please share, I need you to share. The thank you for sharing. The I'm ready to share. Here it is. The whole truth. There I said it.
I'm not going to tell you personal issues about my family. God knows a twelve year old supplies endless anecdotes, I'm talking REALLY good blog fodder - but I can't share her stories. For they are hers to tell.
There will always be the bloggers making hats for goldfish. And then there will be the others. The bloggers who make you laugh out loud while sitting on public transport, bloggers whose words you return to three times in a day. Bloggers who captivate you. Brutally honest bloggers who you want to blog forever because you can't imagine logging in and not finding them there.
I know most of you don't read the comments. So, just incase you missed it, I had to share this. This is one of the reasons why I blog - because there's a women called Judy on the other side of the world who I've never met who made me laugh on a really shitty day..
Thank you Judy and thank you everyone else.
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where
skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks,
and completed the exam with tremendous skill.. When the results came back,
he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't
want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if
there is an error in the grade?" "The instructor said, "During the exam,
you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total
mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth
50%of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50%
because you did it all through the muffler, which I've
never seen done in my entire career".