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Tuesday, 24 April 2012
I've been to the desert...
Yesterday when I picked up the little travelers from school, Henry Hotdog's kindergarten teacher had something to tell me. "You have to tell your Mummy about the poem you wrote today Henry - can you tell her?" The hotdog considered the proposal for a moment and then proceeded to pull my head down towards his. In my ear he whispered.
"A poem - by Henwee"
He took a deep breath, I think this may have been a dramatic pause for effect.
"It's for my family" he qualified and continued with his whisper.
I want you to come to me.
I want you.
Come to me.
I want you to come to me.
My heart melted. I looked at the hotdog's teacher who was looking misty eyed.
"Isn't it beautiful?" It really touched me - he did it all by himself". She had her hand on her heart.
As I wandered off towards the school cafeteria with the third little traveler's guitar over one shoulder, the fourth's backpack on another, I felt weightless. I was lifted by the knowledge that someone had confirmed my thoughts all along, the fourth little traveler was truly special. The poem had just been another example.
It doesn't take much to send me down this path. The path of irrational thought towards each and everyone of my children being truly brilliant.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not setting any unreachable targets or asking for particular goals. It has nothing to do with sporting achievements or report cards. I just know that each of them has something that no-one else has. Their own je ne sais quoi, the indescribable core that comes from within, the essence that makes them them. I have no explanation as to why I can see this, except for perhaps that I am their mother. That from the moment they were handed to me in the hospital, I saw something that no-one else could see. And by the way that everyone else in the maternity ward was looking at their own babies, I could see I wasn't the only one. We'd all been instantly struck by an irrational love.
Later that afternoon, as we hopped in the car the third little traveler announced that he could now play "horse with no name". I was a little doubtful, he has had five guitar lessons. It seemed a bit of a stretch. He pulled out his guitar and strummed a few bars and I could hear it! I could actually hear horse with no name. I'm not so sure if anyone else could hear it, but I could. In the same way that a mother points to an ultrasound and says "see, there's the fingers and theres the toes" and everyone is nodding, while looking at a blob in a balloon. I sang along as he strummed, his eyes shone and he grinned as he played.
"I knew you'd be able to sing it Mum, I knew you'd know it".
Maybe that's it? Maybe that's why we can see the potential and hear the music and believe that there is brilliance. We can see that our children have something unique, because they need us to. They need to know that we see them.
It's not unrealistic or irresponsible. It's just love.
How about you? Are you suffering from irrational love?
Lovely post. Henry's poem is awesome and being able to play something on a musical instrument is awesome. Makes me proud just reading it and we're not related-we haven't even met! Way to go your family!
ReplyDeleteMade me tear up a bit, Kirsty. My 25 year old son is moving out - long overdue. But I still have that irrational love and I'm barracking for him all the way. For his part though, he's been pushing me away quite fiercely and it really hurts. It's an amazing ride, being a mum.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post.
Cheers.
You had me at Henwee. Gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Kirsty; you've captured that feeling we all feel that precious second we see our flesh and blood for the very first time. It's magical and life-changing and beautiful. A blessing to have in your life.
xx
Don't know how to be anything other than Anonymous but I am proud of my daughter too well done Kirsty
ReplyDeleteLovely post Kirsty - had a few tears fall as my 12 year old is on a school camp in Switzerland at the moment and I'm soooo proud of 'both' of us for having the courage to let go. I saw him on Skype last night and he is having a ball. I love the way you write. S x
ReplyDeleteTeary.
ReplyDeleteBEAUTIFUL. I adore the way you look at the world. Irrational love is the best thing to suffer from.
XXX
Every day.With all three. In varying degrees.
ReplyDeletexx
I just said to dear husband the other day, for the umpteenth time, "How did we, how???, create such lovely beings?" Both of our daughters are talented artists studying at Rhode Island School of Design in the US. Their creations never cease to amaze us. Plus they are funny and sweet. And I am not just saying that because I am their mother. : )
ReplyDeleteHenry Hotdog is a poet! At such a tender age. Bless him.
Our first child, a daughter is due in July. I am so looking forward to holding her for the first time. You describe it so eloquently you brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteWendy
Oh Kirsty, that poem. It's gorgeous. I teared up.
ReplyDeleteLove (nor poetry) is meant to be rational, in my opinion. When my daughter was seven she wrote a poem that took my breath away. It was haunting. I don't know where it came from, perhaps from the place all poetry comes from. I entered it in a statewide poetry contest for children and she won first place. She hasn't written anything like it since, but I know now that she can hear the muses. As can your little one. x
Beautiful. I loved Henwee's poem. <3
ReplyDeleteI too, suffer from a completely rational irrational love. :)
It is great that you see something unique and special in each of your four children. They are lucky to have you Kristy. (not all children are so fortunate) Love that little poem!
ReplyDeleteYour children have beautiful souls....I love that poem.
ReplyDeleteI have been a cranky mum lately - it's time to slow down and concentrate on the little things and get back into the some good old irrational love.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI recently contacted you regarding a possible collaboration with InterNations.
Let me know if you are interested at maltezeeck@internations.org
Thanks,
Malte
I've had this post marked for a few days meaning to come back and comment. It is beautiful - the poem, the writing, the mother's heart. Like Wendy who commented above, I too am expecting my first child soon, and love - until now ridiculous and nonsensical - has already taken on a completely different note of irrationality.
ReplyDelete