I travelled to London with a tooth in my pocket.
The third little traveler had been taunting us all week with his wobbly tooth, it was dangling by a thread. Every time someone offered advice on how to remove his baby tusk they were met with the same explanation.
"I'm trying to keep it until I get to London - a British pound is worth much more than a Qatari riyal".
He's his father's son.
When we'd arrived at the airport on Friday, before the drama, he congratulated himself on making it, he'd arrived with the tooth barely attached, he was going to get to London with a week up his sleeve.
And then it all fell apart.
While we waited for our cab to take us home he said "I guess the tooth fairy will have to come in Qatar."
And then, to add insult to injury, his tooth fell out.
"I'll take it with me, I'll put it under your "London" pillow.
I didn't know if the third little traveler would get to London, but I knew no matter what he was going to get a British pound for that tooth. I'd crossed the line from rational thought to I will get my child whatever they want because the world is just not playing fair at this moment.
I had my first nasty blog comment the other day, naturally it was "anonymous" - I'll never really understand the anonymous online comment. Where I come from, if you want to say something, say it loud, say it with conviction and please, say it with your head held high. Don't hide behind anonymous.
"I just find it sad you left your family. Have fun shopping I guess." - Anonymous
Anonymous, I'm sure you realized that what you said was going to hurt, no mother wants to be told that she is selfish and irresponsible. If you were trying to upset me, you were bang on, you voiced my darkest innermost thoughts, and tripped off the mother's guilt switch - until I spoke to G. Logistics and economics will always win in G's mind "It was stupid that we didn't just put you and the 2nd traveler on the plane immediately, it cost a fortune to change the flights, we'd already paid for the accommodation. We did the right thing. Ignore anonymous, they obviously just didn't get it."
The entire family has been here now for 24 hours. We've all been on The London Eye, walked through The Tower of London and squealed on top of a double decker bus. The first two nights that the 2nd little traveler and I were here together on our own are a distant memory, but a memory that she will have forever. Two days of uninterrupted Mummy time where we rode bikes through Hyde Park and stopped for hot chocolate and browsed through book shops. We're now back to normal, my role has just returned to accommodating four needs instead of one.
The third little traveler needs a tooth fairy, the 4th traveler needs a lap to sit on and the 1st traveler has her own ideas on how this holiday will pan out.
At this point I figure I have two jobs at the top of my list.
Number one, make sure the tooth fairy can find her way in to the apartment with a British pound in her pocket. Number two, make sure my children learn that if they can't put their name to their words, well, maybe they shouldn't be writing them.
Hear, hear Kirsty! I just don't 'get' this need for anonymous online negative and hurtful comments either.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth your anonymous comment writer mustn't be regular reader for he/she would know that you are a thoughtful and caring mother and wife if they just read the stories that you post!
On a lighter note I'm glad that your trip has given you the chance to spend some time with the second traveller - that's precious. Sometimes those opportunities just have to be taken eh?
Been meaning to comment here for ages, and this post did it! I have a husband who would say exactly the same thing. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can in a dud situation, and it sounds like you did absolutely the best thing for you. It's just that sometimes doing what is best doesn't make you feel great. Really good that the others got there, though! Have a wonderful time in London. We are enjoying a rainy morning in Perth for the first time in about, oh, three months!
ReplyDeleteHow rude of Anonymous..G is totally correct. We would have made the same decisions. I recently went to see my son in Ohio and left behind the dogs with my hubby and stepson. I felt guilty about leaving them because no one in the house is a good cook and the dogs can be exhausting but dammit I needed to be there for my sons 16th bday and the gang here can handle it for a few days.
ReplyDeleteI often feel guilty that my own boys live in Ohio and I'm 8 hrs away but they were given a choice to come with us or stay with their dad and that was what they chose. It's not like you went to London by yourself and partied it up for a few days. Your money was used wisely and you got some awesome time alone with the 2nd traveler.
Well done. I understand everyone is entitled to an opinion, but if you have one, be adult enough to call it yours. I think you did the right thing, I thought so when I read the first post. And I'm very glad that the rest of the family made it. But you're right, had this not happened the way it did, the second traveller would not have these memories and that precious one on one time with you.
ReplyDeleteCheers, and enjoy London!
From what I have been reading on other blogs, this kind of comment is an affliction of a "successful" blog. You know you successful when thoughtless people take a swipe at you and try to bring you down.
ReplyDeleteSo actually it is a backhanded compliment. I thought your reply post was excellent by the way!
Ah, have to love passive-aggressive. Or would that be anonymous-aggressive? I always thought it was akin to throwing rocks off an overpass at cars going by underneath, then running off into the woods. The height of bravery.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous can go blow it out his/her arse. Which shouldn't require much effort seeing as his/her head is already firmly planted there.
Hi Love Who cares what anonymous thinks I think you why right and that is what counts. Have a fantastic time. Lizzie sent me an email while she was waiting to see if they could go. "Daddy took us for lunch and to the movies it was such fun and we will probably go tomorrow. " Sounds to me like things we handled well.
ReplyDeleteLove Mum
Maxine Rice
Or perhaps Anonymous was like me and does not know how to put the name in
Hilarious! Go Maxine :)
DeleteI believe Anonymous merely skimmed your post and passed judgement. I understood all would be well in the end, hopefully sooner than later. Good job with the tooth. That's super mom thinking.
ReplyDeleteOf course you have made the right decision. But look at it from another angle. There's someone out there that might be following the plot as if they were reading a novel - take it as a compliment:) Your own personal book club!
ReplyDelete(But totally agree... if you're going to comment as anonymous, one of the options here, at least leave a fake name).
Let's hope anonymous reads this post and feels like a real #ss while doing so! Sounds like you are all having loads of fun and that is what counts. I know when one of the kids goes away and the other has our full attention, they are in 7th Heaven. Annie will treasure the memories of having you on her own for a while, but I bet there were loads of squeals when the whole family was back together again :D
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous holiday!!
I'm not surprised by anonymous's comments. It's disappointing, to say the least, but this is a great opportunity to address this topic and change the dominant discourse. Why would someone consider you a "bad mom" if you're away from your kids? What if you had continued onto London, *gasp* without any of the kids? Would that, then, make you a bad mom?
ReplyDeleteWe are all doing our best and we all have choices. I think we give others too much power by buying into what we think THEIR ideas of being a good mom (spouse, employee, etc) are. As a new mom, I'm working these days on owning my choices and trying to stop defending them to others.
Good for you, Kirsty, for making the most of a difficult situation!
Anyone reading the post should have been able to realize that you were very upset about the whole situation I can assure you that my husband and I would have made the same decision, and - as many other readers have pointed out - you were able to make some special memories with Traveler #2.
ReplyDeleteTake comfort, though: people like Anonymous thrive in cyberspace, where they can toss inflammatory comments into the ring and then scuttle away to lurk and observe from the safety of their anonymity. I doubt it was anything personal about you or even your post, per se: it was the thrill Anon received from stirring the pot - any pot. Have a wonderful time in London, and don't give it another thought!
A silly comment from somebody who clearly doesn't know what they a talking about. Such a load of rubbish, Kirsty, YOU know you did the right thing, G agrees, and so does the rest of your 'readership'. everyone was fine, nobody felt abandoned, everyone child was with a parent.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the scaremongering forecasts for snow in London? I don't think it will happen but we do like talking about the weather here! Make sure you take the little travellers to Legoland in Windsor, fun for all ages, mine have loved it since they were two and the eldest is now a teenager and still wants to go next week!
The funny thing about these anonymous comments is that they make you doubt yourself, and you really shouldn't (you know you shouldn't!) but I think it's an inbuilt thing as a mother, to constantly question whether we are doing the best for our children. You are.
People can be so judgemental these days. They need to just get real !
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth Kirsty, i would have done exactly the same thing if i was in your situation.
Have a wonderful, wonderful time in London ! You all deserve it !
Sandra and Julian x
Yeah, gotta love the mental pygmies behind the 'anonymous' comments. I got dozens a few years back when I dared to (honestly) criticise an Aussie movie that was one of the worst I'd ever seen and a waste of a huge (for Aust standards) seven million dollars of government funding.
ReplyDeleteAnd we would have done exactly what you guys did if faced with the same horrible situation. Isn't that what raising smart and independent kids is about - figuring out solutions and realising that it'll all work out okay in the end?
Hi there, sorry to post anonymously but I have no idea what the other options are... Screw that bitch (pardon my french) and enjoy your holiday! I'm sure a little one on one-time with mum can be a challenge with 4 kids so it's brilliant that you where able to make the best out of a frustrating situation. And really, the other 3 spent time with their dad, it's not like you left them at the kennel. Honestly, some people are just stupid. You, however, are not. All the best from Hong Kong, Grethe
ReplyDeleteWell said. Or as we make our (US) politicians say at the end of campaign commercials: 'I'm Linda and I approved of this ad.'
ReplyDeleteBang On Kirsty! There's always someone insecure enough out there to try scoring points on the back of someone else's struggles. G was right, you all did what was necessary and it ended happily. 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteWe went to london last Nov with the kids and had a great time. Just 2 things you should really try to do- go and see Matilda the Musical. It is completely brilliant - its by Tim Minchin, so great for big and small people.
ReplyDeleteAlso try and get to St James Park - the south end where the squirrels run up your legs if you've got peanuts!
have fun!!!
Some people don't have a clue. Forget about that dumb person and have a great time. Glad the rest of the clan was able to get the papers in order so fast!
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that you shouldn't be able to comment as anonymous.. You did exactly the right thing and shouldn't feel any guilt for your choices :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with G. I wondered why you and the child whose passports were good didn't just get on the plane since all the tickets and reservations were waiting. Then I realized it takes time to figure out that's even an option. I'm glad you did.
ReplyDeleteWhy are other mothers so quick to judge ! Drives me crazy, that is one part of the expat journey that I LOVE. There is much less judging where we are. We are in a pretty small expat community and everyone (well 99.9%) supports each other so well. It makes me nervous for when we return to "non expat life".
ReplyDeleteNot everyone has a google account, wordpress or blogger or openid - Wtf is openid?! I don't have a URL to link to, yet your comment options only offer that. So.... what would you like people to write as? I have to enter Anonymous (one reason I never comment on your blog). So I can write here my name is Susan, and that's lovely, but give people options to comment with their name!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm not a mummy blogger, so I'm not going to gush, and tell you your choice was right - that's up to you. But I find it ironic that that Anonymous person didn't really say anything offensive, and gave you a post to write about! Also, is there not a sense that if you choose to publish things openly on the net, there is going to be a range of opinions in reply?
Again, I'll sign off as Susan. But I don't have a mummy blog to link to, so I'm not sure how else to end this/post this other than showing as Anon.
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what an openid is :-) I agree with you, if I write it and put it out there I should have to cop it on the chin when someone disagrees.
You didn't find the comment offensive?
You've given me food for thought, maybe I was too thin skinned. I really took the comment to heart and read it as a judgment more than a comment "I find it sad that you left your family" and then a dig with "enjoy the shopping". Yes, I should have just ignored it, but the inference that I'd stood at the airport and said 'bugger you lot I'm off to Selfridges' genuinely really upset me, I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
I will contact disquss (the people who make the commenting software) and find out why you can't just put in a name etc when you reply. I'm about to redesign the blog so will investigate a new commenting system. Once again, I appreciate your honesty,
Kirsty
I think it is not matter whether they put anonymous as a name. Unless ban anonymous to avoid this.
ReplyDeleteBugger them I think you did the right thing, you had spent that money for accommodation etc, its not like you planned leaving anyone behind. I know my children would have loved one on one time. I think your bloggs are great Kirsty keep writing love Alice
ReplyDeleteMy mother always said "if you cant say something nice then dont say anything at all" although it got me through childhood, its not sufice in adult world. I like your updated learning, that if I am not proud to put my name to my words then perhaps I shouldnt be saying them.
ReplyDeletemy Dad also used to tell me - dont write anything down you wouldn't want someone else to read.
just found your blog through Mamamia, and I do not have kids, but I am enjoying your posts.