I was reading an article on blog comments last month. Unfortunately I can't link to the article or copy and paste it for you, because I got half way through, stopped reading and moved on. It was an article written by a tech blogger informing me on why blog comments were redundant. I was going to write and ask the author about community and how he felt about sitting at his computer talking "at" people rather than "to" people, and then I remembered he was a tech blogger. And he didn't like comments.
I've tried to find the article again but I haven't had any luck, although in the process of looking I've found a few similar ones. Interestingly, all written by men, all stating the same issues, the main one being that comments just take up too much of their time. They all outline the arduous task of having to talk to someone who has a question and what a pain in the butt their audience can be when they start making demands.
I realize that technical and business blogs are very different to news and personal blogs, but it got me thinking. I love reading comments, but I rarely comment myself.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Nope. Safe. I thought the god of blogging may have just struck me down with my admission of sporadic commenting.
I can read something that is ground breaking and brilliant and not comment. Sometimes the better the piece, the more difficult I find it to comment, solely because I really can't think of anything to say that hasn't been said. Quite often I'll start to write "when you said..." and then realize it all sounds a bit lame. When someone has written of deep personal loss and grief "thinking of you" or "one day at a time" or the absolute worst "hugsxxx" just doesn't seem appropriate.
I had one of those moments today.
There was a piece on Mamamia today about a women who had lost her son to cancer. It was called "Learning to Live Again" the story may have been short, but its content was heartbreaking. It made me think of friends near and far, and the indescribable grief that comes with losing a child. I was wiping away the tears as I scrolled down to the comments and once again couldn't think of what to say. And then I saw this from a reader:
The only comfort I can give you is this -
My wonderful daughter nurses children with cancer and she and the vast majority of her colleagues are in no doubt about there being something on the other side.
For a time before they pass, very often a child will ask who the person in the room is (when no-one is there) or they’ll tell you that grandpa is talking to them or that a little child with a bald head has kissed them on the cheek.
Some nurses can feel, and sometimes see, the spirit who has come to take these babies home. Some of them get used to it – others don’t last long!
My daughter wasn’t raised in a particularly religious home and during her teenage years she thought that when you die that’s it but the half dozen years she’s spent in this ward has convinced her that these babies are not alone when they pass – there is always someone who comes to take them home and she says that most of her colleagues would agree.
I know that this isn’t going to fill your empty arms or mend your poor heart but I hope it gives you a little comfort. xx
I don't know if the author of the piece gained any comfort, but the sentiment felt incredibly genuine. "There is always someone who comes to take them home".
They're not alone. It's okay. They're not alone.
All comments are great. Some comments are worth copying, saving and reposting.
All comments are great. Some comments are worth copying, saving and reposting.
Comments are a gift. I've giggled and cried at stories that have been told via comments, both stories that have been very similar to my own and others that couldn't be further from daily routine. I couldn't imagine writing this blog without having you guys to talk to BUT I also know that many of you sneak in here each day and never comment - which is fine, I get it. You will when you have something to say.
What an astounding story! Sometimes we all need to have our faith renewed that somehow in this misty virtual world where deception seems so common, that the human soul is listening....and commenting.
ReplyDeleteGulp. My SIL the nurse says the same thing about people never being alone when they die. I hope so.
ReplyDeletexx
Vehement non-believer here, so I have nothing to say...
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I'm one of those sneaky ones that hardly ever have anything to say -- so I thought today, at least, I should stop and say "hello."
So, yeah, um... hi. I'm here pretty much every day. Been reading your blog since before I moved to Doha. I never comment, but somewhere in the back in my mind there lingers a hope that I'll run into you one day. And that maybe then I'll have something to say!
What a beautiful comment for that woman to leave. And very thought provoking too.
ReplyDeleteI get what you're saying about comments. I do comment some - less now than I used to. But commenting is giving, and sometimes you just don't feel like giving and I think an insecure comment is worse than none at all.
I read many blogs on the run on my phone, sitting waiting for the kids to get out of school, in the hospital staff room etc. Generally it is hard to leave comments as I get distracted or the verification process is tricky on a mobile screen (No I don't want to type "Miscellaneous vegetation" to prove I'm not a robot)
ReplyDeleteIf a blog post follows me around in my head all day I will make the effort to go back later at home on the "real" computer and leave a comment. I know I appreciate when people take time to comment on my blog but I also know life is busy and it's not all about numbers.
I think I commented more when I was new to blogging. Are we getting blog weary? Or just living our real lives more?!
Oh Kirsty. I couldn't agree more about the power of comments (and that was an especially moving one). Some of the comments my readers have left for me have completely changed the way I do things or think about things. Never underestimate what your comment can evoke in someone else! J x
ReplyDeleteI've been blogging for the company i work for, for about 18 months, and in my experience business blogs generally do getter much less conversation.
ReplyDeleteIts totally different in more lifestyle and personal blog-land. When I find a post I really like but don't have the time or inclination to leave a comment I might tweet it and share it with others. Sometime the process of commenting & the ID verification just falls in the too hard basket. But I will ALWAYS respond to someone who has taken the time to leave a comment on my own blog... I might reply to their comment, or visit their blog and leave a comment there, or engage in a little chit chat on twitter. Easy for me too committ too being a newbie social blogger and all :-)
most of the time, Comments are the best part of any blog post I do. Especially comments from this post - I LOVED them!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.woogsworld.com/2012/03/evil-among-us.html
I LOVED that post, I read it at the hairdressers and snorted out loud, and your right, the comments were sensational. I'm over at your blog every morning Mrs Woog. LOVE it. I have a few friends in Radelaide who I have introduced to your blog, none of them are bloggers and they are all completely addicted. When I went to Jakarta a few weeks ago I told a friend about your blog and now I see her sharing it on Facebook. None of these people would ever consider making a comment, which I think is really interesting.
ReplyDeleteI agree, if I read something when I'm out it's almost impossible to comment without a lot of concentration required. I'm a big fan of the RT on twitter.
ReplyDeleteI often type comments here but then delete them because I think they are lame - just like this one...better delete it.....no I'll be brave today ;-)
ReplyDeleteHello! I bet we do run in each other, Doha is very much like that isn't it. I understand what your saying about the vehement nonbeliever, after seeing a friend pass last year and watching another friend lose a child I found it very hard to be a "believer". I think that's why the comment resonated with me, I'm not sure if I believe, but I love the thought of a child not being alone and having someone to hold their hand. If I haven't met you in the next 6 months I think we'll just have to agree to meet up. Okay?
ReplyDeletePMSL - How's Lagos? Are you heading back to Oz for the summer? And also, in one of your comments you mentioned a Facebook page that had the 20 "best of's" pics. Do you have a link? Would love to have it.
ReplyDeleteI love it when people comment on my blog, and I always respond. It's like a bit of chit chat, a friendly thought (normally), and it's nice to know one is not alone out there in cyberspace talking to oneself.
ReplyDeleteI love that comment by the nurse that you posted (and the confirmation in the comments). I'm much readier to believe there is a spirit world without there necessarily being a god.
Gee thanks for your understanding, because I am one of those kind...I would love someone comment on my blog but I am myself is more of a silent reader. Yes, like you most of the time I just really don't know what to say or whether what I am going to say fits the situation. Ironically, at this very moment I am writing this comment, I am also in the mid of reading another blog (the window opens next to this window) and that blog is talking about how commenting is somehow a bit disturbing. She also gives a list of why her and many other blogger like her don't comment. Well, I like the way you have written it more :)
ReplyDeleteLagos going well, finally feels like home (OMG did I just type that). Not heading back to Oz this summer but will have a little poke around Europe instead while we still live over this way. Not sure if I am sad or excited for summer - possibly a bit of both. I hope this link works as I clearly have no idea what I am doing :-)
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150669052615909.415559.11071120908&type=1
S x
I am one of those who reads but doesn't comment. Not that many entries don't resonate with me ... but as you say ... sometimes what I would say has been said, or feels insufficient. (Yet I get frustrated when I know people are reading my blog and I have a glaring lack of comments. LOL!)
ReplyDeleteNever let the lack of comments keep you from writing.
That comment was gorgeous and inspiring !!!
ReplyDeletePart of my frustration with comments (not to distract from the fact that the original point of the post and the beautiful comment) is that often I don't visit BACK to see whether someone responded to my comment. The various platforms of blogging don't make it easy to have a dialogue .. and sometimes I visit back (weeks later) only to realize that a question was asked, or answered -- but I didn't know it.
I try to be responsive on my blog to comments that are left about living in India .. but I feel the same issues prevail with some people just not knowing what to say!
Boy, that was a long non-response if I've ever read one!!
Yes, I agree -- it is a very comforting thought, especially when children are involved. It's at least nice to adopt the agnostic stance, and say "who knows? Maybe it's true" and then rationalize that it's not entirely impossible...
ReplyDeleteAnd, ah, yes, sounds like a plan. Within six months, then (because I know how much spare time you have -- you're probably just dying to fill it up meeting cyber stalkers!) But I must confess: Though I don't think I have run into you (alas, I don't get out nearly as much as I need to) last October, when I was looking into schools for my daughter, I took a tour of ASD and I did immediately recognize Henry, during his Phys Ed class. He raised his hand to say something, and you could tell, right away, what an extraordinarily sweet and kind kid he is.
A blog with no comments??? That is like a garden with no flowers.
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