The second traveller had homework. She had a big blank yellow ME that she then had to cover with pictures of herself. I noticed when she was telling me about her "ME" there seemed to be a lot of "WE".
Her "ME" meant that "I" had to scroll through our library of digital pictures while under heavy scrutiny and instruction from the Second Little Traveller. She had suddenly switched into Anna Wintour editing the September issue. She slowly perused each photo, discussing what was going to make it on to the page.
"I like the one of me in the rabbit suit", we scrolled back to our days in Libya to find her on the sofa with long pink fluffy ears. As we made our way past Libya and in to Canada she said "Don't print the one of me being a grumpy cowgirl in Calgary." she knew me too well, I love that photo.
When WE had enough to cover her "ME" she asked which pictures I would have picked if I had a ME. I scrolled back to the beginning of our digital library which coincidentally begins a month before the birth of the First Little Traveller. I had confirmed my children's suspicions, that I didn't really exist until they came along. There I was, standing on Orchard Road in Singapore, wearing comfortable shoes and bad maternity pants. My one and only digital "ME" before we all became "WE".
There's a box of previous "ME's" in dusty photo albums stored in a cupboard in Australia. The non digital ME, the child ME, the school ME, the single ME, the drunken ME, the sporty ME. The old ME before WE.
As the Second Little Traveller and I looked through the digital photos she said "there's not a lot of photos of just you? How come?" I had to think about it. When did I stop having pictures of "just me". I had a few logical explanations - I was the one taking the photos, or maybe I was just so busy with babies and toddlers there just wasn't time, but when I really thought about it, they were poor excuses. Why were all my ME's now WE's? Should I have been having an identity crisis?
There's a lot of "WE" in my "ME". It doesn't matter how much I work on my "ME" whether it's writing, spending time with friends or failing dismally through a downward dog at Yoga class. The "WE" always seems to be there, right in the front of my brain. I can't tuck it away to the back, it's always right there - up the front. What will they eat for dinner? Did he take the vaccination form to school today? She needs a new retainer, I need to make an appointment at the Orthodontist. She'll need new sneakers for basketball. When is the Rugby trip? Was the school bowling trip today? I need to find a black jacket for her Michael Jackson Halloween dress up. Questions like these work on high rotation.
If life has a pattern of "ME's" and "WE's". I'm making my way through a strong phase of the "WE".
This will change.
As the Little Travellers grow, there will be less pictures of bunny suits and bowling parties. In the meantime though, I'm making the most of my life of "WE". There's no identity crises, just the predictable angst that comes with balancing the WE and the ME. Realizing that I like the WE and want to hang on to it for as long as I can, knowing that it wont last forever and I'll miss it terribly when it's gone.
Do you have more ME's than WE's in your photo collection? Or is your ME a distant memory?

Oh yes. I am the family photographer. Far less ME than WE. Which is just fine. One day, as you say, there will probably be a bit too much just ME and not enough WE.
ReplyDeleteI had to talk my daughter out of using an absolutely hilariously grumpy photo of herself for a class passport project. Love the image of your mini Anna Wintour.
A quick scroll through the photo library shows that the only pics of me (solo) are those taken with photobooth to use as avatars. Also, "before" photos from various fitness/weightloss-related activities. Strangely, no "after" photos....
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes, i'm in my own wedding photo but my husband it totally hot so prefer him in the photos & holiday snaps.
ReplyDeleteI am the last born, so few pictures of me, so i made the effort to shoot all the children as a group, individuals, twins together & apart!! I rarely feature in any of them, happy to hide behind the camera forever more. Love Posie
Laughing through my tears. Was telling a friend today how exhausted I was being on someone else's schedule all the time. It will pass I guess. Looking forward to some ME again. Been WE for over 12 years.
ReplyDeleteFunny, yes as the person who holds the camera most of the time, there are almost no photos of me alone over the past 20 years!
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is much ME at all, but worse, we have so few images of all of us, that is what I want to fix the most.
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of more 'we' in 'me'. I only have the one child (twelve year old daughter going-on-forty) but realised the other day that my electronic photos are *all* of her and him. I'm the photographer and when I occasionally let them use my beloved SLR, I tend to have my mouth open, or be standing sideways revealing the 'ol pot belly and verandah arse or be fuzzy so not many of them survive beyond 'delete' !
ReplyDeleteI agree, I choose to embrace the WE as long as I can. WE will soon enough become ME, or ME and HUSBAND and the Six of us being WE graces us for only a short time.
ReplyDeleteLooks like we are all guilty of being behind the camera at all times!
ReplyDeleteLots of WE here, but with the traveling the hub has done of late, hoping we end with a HE and ME when the WE has left the building!!!
very good post! loving the blog!!
ReplyDeletehttp://infinitelifefitness.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com
My "ME" is probably more of "Them". I'm usually the one taking pictures, so there are very few of ME actually in the photos. Funny how that changes, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThere are so many more "we"s than "me"s that when I recently did a blog on Losing Weight in France, I had to resort to taking a photograph of myself in the mirror as I had no recent ones. How sad is that!
ReplyDeleteI am looking through the pics of my daughter to make albums for xmas for granparents and also for us...well, in this first year I have about 20 pictures of me and her, all the rest is her and her daddy and just her, for the obvious reason im behind the camera.
ReplyDeleteI also embrace the we, but Im just sorry about not having a proper pictures of her and me next to each other the day of her birth as she was in the little crib next to my bed and I couldtn lift myself up because of the pain of the c-section: somehow no one of us felt confident enough to lift her up from the crib cause she was looking so tiny and fragile and we were so inexperienced..lets hope next time it will be different!